The Passion of Bernhard Langer + Matador Playlist 1/26/17

28 Jan The Passion of Bernhard Langer + Matador Playlist 1/26/17

Posted at 00:21h in Uncategorized by inkyinkinc

Welcome back, Gentle Reader(s) to Ye Olde Matador playliste and Orange Goblin screed. The first week of the O.G. administration is drawing to a close and what a week it has been. The mendacity has piled up faster and higher than mere mortals could reasonably be expected to keep up with—the daily tally of mindbenders, head-scratchers, howlers, hair-tearers and garment-renders has been epic, to say the least. Where does one even start? The barrage of O.G. tweets, Sean Spicer press briefings/press scoldings and ‘alternative fact’ throw-downs have got the media scrambling to sort the lies from the untruths, the falsehoods from the fabrications, the unverifiables from the unsupportables and fantasy from reality. Is the Goblin horror-circus the real story or is it just a lot of smoke and mirrors orchestrated to distract us from the genuine damage going on behind the scenes of the Orangutang Reich? And then there’s the other horrifying troll now sliming up 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.—Chief Goblin Strategist Steve Bannon. The Drumpf regime’s very own Joe Goebbels made his mark in week one, informing the press corps that they should just ‘shut their mouths’ and listen to the swinish pearls of alternative wisdom dribbling from the bejowled maw of the Cheeto-In-Chief. Folks, we have a genuine Nazi whispering sweet alt-right nothings in to the shell-like ear of the O.G. A genuine Nazi.

One story that really caught my attention was an anecdote related by the Orange Goblin to a gathering of congressional leaders on Monday (January 23) of this week. As an illustrative case in point to back up his wholly fantastic claims regarding rampant Voter Fraud the O.G. cited the distressing case of his ‘friend’ and ‘supporter,’ championship golfer Bernhard Langer. According to the Goblin, the esteemed duffer Mr. Langer was standing in line at a polling station in Florida this past November and observed that there were people in front of and behind him that ‘did not look as though they should be allowed to vote.’ Despite their suspiciously dusky hue, these individuals were nonetheless allowed to cast provisional ballots, according to accounts published in the New York Times. However, when Mr. Langer came up to cast his ballot he was turned away! A white man, turned away from his God-given right to determine the fate of these here United States of America! Whoa Nelly! What in tarnation??

Interesting thing about the Goblin’s anecdote, however: Bernhard Langer, despite being an individual of indisputably Caucasian ethnicity, is a German citizen. Meaning, he is not a citizen of these here United States. Meaning that he is therefore not eligible to vote in these here United States. Supposedly Mr. Langer himself would be aware of his own citizenship status, which his daughter Christina confirmed to the New York Times. She also put forth that Mr. Langer was not an amigo, or even a Freund, of the Orange Goblin and expressed bafflement over why the O.G. would be spinning yarns about her dad. How odd! I guess Mssrs. Bannon and Spicer will have to cross this distressing episode off their list of exhibits in the allegedly forthcoming Voter Fraud investigation. Sad!

Following up on the great Voter Fraud scandal of election 2016, it turns out that Goblin son-in-law Jared Kushner, Goblin progeny Tiffany Drumpf, and inner cabal members Steve ‘Sieg Heil’ Bannon, Steven Mnuchin and Sean Spicer are all registered to vote in at least two states (as reported in the Washington Post)! Mr. Kushner, for instance, is currently on the voter rolls in both New Jersey and New York! Well there’s your Voter Fraud for ya! Like Charity, Voter Fraud apparently begins at home. Oopsie! Even more Sad!

Now, last but certainly not least, I offer unto you, Gentle Reader(s), a genuine Inky Ink, Inc exclusive: ‘The President of the United States is a Lying Sack of Shit‘ maxi-emoji thingie. This is all cobbled together from assorted bits and pieces culled from the intrawebs so I can’t rightly claim ownership, so enjoy and repost to your heart’s delight.