29 Jan Thank You For Your Service
When I was a little kid I engaged in all manner of magical thinking, as children are often wont to do. I had the notion that if I longed for something desperately enough or imagined a particular outcome to some situation fervently enough my wishes and desires might actually have some effect on reality. Now that I’m an alleged adult and have the Medicare card to prove it, the folly of magical thinking has gradually become apparent to me. Regardless, on the evenings of November 8, 2016, and again on November 5, 2024, I went off to bed carrying with me the hopeful fantasy that what I knew to be a foregone conclusion would not, in fact, have come to pass when I awoke to the harsh light of morning.
Well, what’s done is done. DrumpfReich 2.0 is now clawing its way into week #2 and things are about as horrifying as anyone might possibly have anticipated. Newly retooled and fully weaponized, the Orange Goblin has launched his encore gig with a shock and awe campaign that has just about anybody hobbled by adherence to outdated concepts such as democracy, decency, humanity and empathy reeling in horror.
But we’ve been here—or somewhere much like here—before, and somehow we got through. We survived. I cannot but have faith that we’ll manage to survive this new, improved shitstorm as well. Magical thinking once again? Check back in four years and we shall see…
One of the many pre-election promises made by the foul entity now installed in the Oval Office was the pardoning of the approximately 1,600 individuals who participated in the riot at the Capitol on January 6, 2021. Since that shameful day the Orange Goblin and his brown-nose legions have devoted themselves to gaslighting the entire planet via a campaign of denial, blame-shifting, and rewriting of the narrative: Riot? What riot? I didn’t see any riot!
Within the past few weeks a variety of people in government, Vice-Goblin J.D. Vance among them, weighed in on the topic of the January 6th offenders, assuring us that talk of a blanket pardon was no more than just that: Talk. As for myself, I thought ‘Naaaah, the O.G.’s not gonna pardon those lawless hooligans. It’s just too disgusting, too vile!’
Well, color me the guileless buffoon once again. The MAGA Messiah gwine said he was gonna set his people free and set them free he has. A Goblin of His Word, eh wot?
Among those pardoned were people charged with obstruction of Congress, simple assault, assault with a deadly weapon, seditious conspiracy, trespassing, theft, destruction of government property, weapons offenses, disorderly conduct, civil disorder, and so on. The instances of assault were primarily perpetrated upon the Capitol Police—law enforcement officers sworn to protect the Capitol, ALL members of Congress, and the government employees who work there.
138 law enforcement officers were injured on 1/6/21. One Capitol Police officer died of a stroke within hours of being assaulted. Over the next ten days two Capitol Police officers would commit suicide. Six months later, two DC Metropolitan Police officers who had defended the Capitol died by their own hands. Drumpf supporters also died at the Capitol that day—one by gunshot, two by heart attack, and a fourth by drug overdose.
Riot? What riot?
Perhaps some of those who have received the Grace of the Goblin will now apply their patriotic zeal to new projects like exacting retribution from the likes of Dr. Anthony Fauci, Gen. Mark Milley, Brian Hook, Mike Pompeo, and John Bolton—all of whom have had their security details pulled. Let’s not forgot Liz Cheney, who will have to mind her six for the rest of her borned days.
I fervently hope that all the tough talk of retribution turns out but to be no more than talk, but it only stands to reason: If you’ve been pardoned once for being an instrument of the will of the Orange Goblin, might one not expect to be pardoned again for further demonstrations of fealty? Probably worth a shot, right?
So, to all of you former J6 hostages: Congratulations. You have been vindicated. You can hold your heads high, gather proudly for reunion picnics on the White House lawn and for Goblin-sanctioned reenactments of the Day of Love at the Capitol. To paraphrase the old Vietnam-era saying, perhaps the only way to save this democracy is to destroy it. You have done your part and a grateful nation thanks you for your service.
