29 Feb Matador Playlist 2/25/16
Welcome, Gentle Reader(s). As I’m sure you’re very well aware, my last Matador Playlist featuring live (sort of) Grammy Awards blogging went down like a House On Fire so I’m doing again it for the Oscars! Well, to be honest, ‘House On Fire’ might be gilding the lily… ‘House With The Heat Turned Up A Bit Too High’ might be more accurate. Or ‘House With Something On The Stove’? Perhaps ‘House With Something Warming In A Toaster Oven’? Well, you get the picture…
It’s the red carpet pre-show show. Michael Strahan appears backstage at the Oscars wearing one white glove. A spontaneous Michael Jackson tribute? No, apparently it’s so that he can handle an actual Oscar award without besmirching its gold plated magnificence as he chats with the representatives from Pricewaterhouse-Cooper, one of whom (as Strahan notes) looks quite a bit like Matt Damon (with a case of rosacea). Once again, the red carpet features a perky blonde woman (Lara Spencer) towering over an array of much shorter men and women. No, Sylvester Stallone is not standing in a trench. Neither is the diminutive Kevin Hart.
Michael Strahan appears again, sans white glove, with the perpetually stunning Charlize Theron in a fire engine red sheath dress with a plunging neckline. She says the best thing about the Oscars are the backstage hamburgers. Okay, now I’m hungry. Russell Crowe and Ryan Gosling are next to be cornered by Strahan, engaging in some awkward sports analogies and ribbing of one another. Russell says ‘Just go with it, man.’ Strahan seems a bit jittery.
Robin Roberts is at the front of the hall with Mark Ruffalo and his lovely wife—the deep plunging neckline seems to be de rigueur tonight and I, for one, have no problem with that. While discussing the film ‘Spotlight’ Mark Ruffalo invokes ‘fellow liberals’ and Robin Roberts can’t end the segment quickly enough. The ‘L’ word! Gadzooks!
Okay, here we go.
First to air is a countdown montage that knits together a bunch of movie clips from the last year’s films. I haven’t seen a substantial majority of these films. Since Chris Rock isn’t a song and dance man, thankfully there’s no song and dance number to open the broadcast. Works for me.
Okay, now it’s time for Chris Rock. Fasten your seat belts, America! Rock emerges onstage to Public Enemy’s ‘Fight the Power.’ Yeah!! He gets right down to it, mentions that there were at least 15 black people in the opening montage and refers to the Oscars as the ‘White People’s Choice Awards.’ There are no black nominees for anything this year, as we all know. Rock notes that people have been saying to him ‘Chris, you should quit!’ but wonders ‘How come there’s only unemployed people that tell you to quit something? No one with a job ever tells you to quit.’
Kevin Hart gets several shout outs from Rock, noting that Hart makes films fast, like every month: ‘Porn stars don’t make movies that fast!’ Rock suggests that there have probably been many years in the past when there were no black Oscar nominees, but that ‘Black people didn’t protest in 1962, 1963… We’re too busy being raped and lynched to care about who won best cinematographer. They had real things to protest!’ Noting that Jada Pinkett has boycotted this year’s proceedings, CR says that ‘It’s like me boycotting Rhianna’s panties! I wasn’t invited!’
Rock suggests that the ‘In Memoriam’ montage feature only black people who were shot by the cops on their way to the movies! This prompts a nervously mixed reaction: “Yes, I said it!” says Rock. He suggests that there’d be more black nominees if there were ‘Black’ categories in the Oscars: For instance, ‘Best Black Friend,’ —perpetual winner, Wanda Sykes! Chris poses the question: ‘Is Hollywood racist? Is it burning-cross racist? Is it fetch-me-some-lemonade racist?’ and suggests that it’s a ‘different type of racist.’ He relates a Hollywood event for President Obama at which there were four black people present. When it’s time for Chris to have his picture taken with Obama he talks to the President about how the attendees ‘don’t hire black people and they’re the nicest white people on earth! They’re liberals! Damn right hollywood is racist, but it ain’t that racist you’ve grown accustomed to. Hollywood is sorority racist! It’s like ‘We like you Rhonda, but you’re not a Kappa.’ That’s how Hollywood is. But things are changing.’ I think we can probably expect some blowback from the sorority community tomorrow.
Rock goes on to say that ‘We just want the same opportunities… that’s it! Not just once! Leo gets a great part every year!’ He acknowledges that there are good roles for people of color out there and suggests that Jamie Foxx was so good in ‘Ray’ that ‘they went to the hospital and unplugged the real Ray Charles—It’s like, We don’t need two of these!’ Noting that it’s no longer considered appropriate for the red carpet emcees to ask all the women ‘Who are you wearing?’, Chris says that if ‘George Clooney showed up with a lime green tux on with a swan coming out his ass somebody would go, ‘What you wearing, George?’ That was a great opening monologue. Chris comes out swinging and scores a knockout.
Emily Blunt and Charlize Theron (introduced by Rock as ‘Emily Blunt and somebody whiter’) are first out to present for Original Screenplay, I’m predicting ‘Spotlight.’ I haven’t seen it but as it’s about journalists it’s obviously a writers’-type movie. The Oscar goes to ‘Spotlight.’
Ryan Gosling and Russel Crowe are out next to present for Best Adapted Screenplay. They perform a nice little ‘Ryan Gosling is a nincompoop’ comic bit. Gosling obviously has a good sense of humor—he should consider doing more comedic roles. I’m thinking that it’s going to be ‘The Big Short’ for adapted screenplay. I’ve actually seen this movie and I thought it was very well written indeed. And I’m right again—‘The Big Short.’ That was a real zeitgeist film and it should do pretty well tonight.
Chris Rock returns after the commercial break and continues with the ‘no black nominees’ theme. He introduces a filmed bit with clips from actual movies. In the first one Whoopi appears in the background as a janitor, mopping up behind Jennifer Lawrence as she falteringly tries to pitch her own ‘miracle mop’ in ‘Joy.’ This is followed by a scene lifted from ‘The Revenant’ with Leo DiCaprio being savaged by the great Leslie Jones (of ‘Saturday Night Live’) instead of the grizzly bear. Leslie Jones is a force! Next it’s a lift from ‘The Danish Girl’ with with Tracy Morgan appearing in Eddie Redmayne’s role (and dress), making goo goo eyes at a danish pastry. Then it’s Chris himself as ‘Black Astronaut’ stranded in space, as in ‘The Martian.’ Jeff Daniels and Kristin Wiig, in NASA mission control, agonize over how it might cost $2,500 ‘in white dollars’ to get ‘Black Astronaut’ back to Earth. They decide to go out for some pho instead. Whoopi appears again, mopping up the control room. Quite funny indeed! Chris introduces ‘Miss Stacy Dash’ as director of the Oscar’s new Black Outreach Programs. Who, exactly, is Stacy Dash? The audience seems rather confused by this bit. So am I.
Sarah Silverman is out to introduce the first nominated original song. It’s going to be the Sam Smith song from ‘Spectre’ and Silverman goes on a riff about about the promiscuity of the Bond character, mentioning James Bond sleeping with women with ‘heavy Jewish boobs’ and never calling or texting them afterwards. Sam Smith comes out to sing the song. Sam has slimmed down significantly over the past year or so. He has a great falsetto but when he steps up into it things get a bit shaky—shades of Adele’s Grammy performance.
Kerry Washington and Henry Cavill are the next presenters, introducing the first two nominations for Best Picture. Henry Cavill is a Brit and he just played Superman?? Why can’t we find an American to play Superman fer cryin out loud? It’s like Daniel Day Lewis portraying Abraham Lincoln! You don’t see any Americans flying across the pond to portray Winston Churchill or Elizabeth I or any British superheroes, do you? Are there any British superheroes, by the way? Warm Beer Man? The Mighty Tea-Fist? The first nominations for Best Picture are ‘The Martian,’ haven’t seen it, and ’The Big Short.’ I did see ‘The Big Short’ and really liked it but is it Best Picture material? Probably too depressing… I’m thinking not.
J.K. Simmons, last year’s Best Supporting Actor, not pitching insurance at the moment, is out to pitch Best Supporting Actresses: Jennifer Jason Leigh in ‘The Hateful Eight’—didn’t see it, doubt it’ll win—she’s covered with blood and has really awful rotten prosthetic teeth in her clip. Rooney Mara is nominated for ‘Carol.’ Haven’t seen it, yet, but I’m thinking there’s a good chance Rooney will win. Rachel McAdams is up for ‘Spotlight.’ Probably not. Alicia Vikander for ‘The Danish Girl’ probably not—too early in her career. Kate Winslet for ‘Steve Jobs’—again probably not. She’s won before and after all, it’s a movie about a computer company guru. Wow—Alicia Vikander wins! That was probably not an odds-on favorite pick for this category, but she was great in ‘Ex Machina.’
There’s some sort of Twitter feed or something running along the bottom of the screen—I HATE this kind of crap! I keep thinking there’s some sort of breaking news story somewhere—like Donald Trump fell down a well and no one’s bothering to get him out—but instead it’s just a bunch of gobbledygook. I keep missing whatever the heck it is.
As we return from the commercial break Chris Rock announces ‘We’re black!’ The always luminous Cate Blanchett is out to present for Best Costume Design—it’s actually a sort of an acting bit with her walking across the stage as props move in behind her.
‘Cinderella,’ is nominated—somehow I didn’t see it. ‘The Danish Girl,’ again, didn’t see it. ‘Carol’ as noted, didn’t see it (yet). ‘The Revenant,’ saw it, but everyone in that film is so incredibly filthy it seems like the costumes don’t really register that much. ‘Mad Max: Fury Road.’ I’m predicting ‘Mad Max’ for a win here—and yes, ’Mad Max’ wins. A bit of a political pitch from the winning costumer—‘Mad Max could be prophetic if we’re not nicer to one another…’ The music cuts her off.
Steve Carrell and Tina Fey are out to present for Best Production Design, ‘Bridge of Spies,’ didn’t see it, ‘The Danish Girl,’ ‘The Martian’—I’m thinking that might win. ‘The Revenant,’ yep, saw it. ‘Mad Max: Fury Road’—now MM might very well win. Okay, I’m saying ‘Mad Max’— and yes indeed, ‘Mad Max’ wins again. I’m on a roll!
The feed at the bottom of the screen turns out not be Twitter after all. I guess the nominees get the opportunity to program in a list of people they want to thank if they win so that they will be dissuaded from mentioning them onstage and will keep their comments brief. Good luck with that.
The nominees for Makeup and Hairstyling are next presented by Margot Robbie and Jared Leto—two lovely people, one of them with the obligatory dramatic plunging neckline. Jared has a red carnation at his neck instead of a bow tie. Jared mentions that this category might encompass “the occasional mirkin—if you’re laughing please explain it to the person next to you. If you’re not laughing, Google it.’ Possibly the first ‘mirkin’ shout out at the Oscars? ‘Mad Max’ wins again. This is shaping up to be a serious sweep for MM in the technical/aesthetics categories.
Benicio del Toro and Jennifer Garner—again two preternaturally good looking people. They’re out to introduce two more Best Picture nominations: ’The Revenant’ (the camera cuts away to show someone in a bear suit applauding from one of the box seats) and ‘Mad Max: Thunder Road.’ That’s already scored so big tonight, I really doubt it will win Best Picture.
Chris Rock returns—this time to talk about the real people behind their portrayals in the movies—the real folks behind ‘Joy’ and ‘Spotlight’ are shown in the audience. Chris introduces Suge Knight from ‘Straight Outta Compton’—a snarling faux ‘Suge’ appears in the box seats, restrained in a straight jacket with two police officers. ‘Glad you could make it, Suge!’
Michael B. Jordan (from ‘Creed’) and the oooh so lovely Rachel McAdams emerge to make the presentation for cinematography: ‘The Hateful Eight,’ ‘Carol,’ ‘Sicario,’ which I actually saw, and ‘Mad Max: Fury Road,’ (saw that too) and ‘The Revenant.’ The way things are going tonight it could well be ‘Mad Max’ again, but I’m thinking ‘The Revenant.’ The Oscar goes to ‘The Revenant.’ I’m on a serious roll here!! The cinematographer, Emmanuel Lubezki, won last year for the amazing ‘Birdman.’ Well deserved!
Liev Schreiber and Priyanka Chopra on to present for Best Editing. ‘The Big Short,’ ‘Spotlight,’ ‘The Revenant’ (I’m thinking ‘The Revenant’), ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens,’ and ‘Mad Max: Fury Road.’ ‘Mad Max’ wins again! This is a big big night for ‘Mad Max’! The very dapper George Miller is having a really good evening.
Chris Rock announces a special presentation in honor of Black History Month: A filmed segment featuring the lovely Angela Bassett to honor a very special talent: He’s an actor, producer, musician… (a montage of images from a number of films featuring Will Smith)—the honoree is… Jack Black!! Will and Jada are both getting roasted tonight.
Chadwick Boseman and Chris Evans come out to tout achievement in Sound Editing—I’m thinking either ‘Mad Max’ or ‘The Revenant.’ The nominees are ‘The Revenant,’ ’The Martian,’ ‘Sicario,’ ‘Star Wars.’ I’m guessing ‘Mad Max.’ The Oscar goes to ‘Mad Max’ AGAIN! A sweep of the technical/aesthetic categories! What’s the count now—five Oscars? Pretty amazing. The Sound Editing winners are really excited—leaping about and yelling, something gets bleeped. Nice to see some folks getting genuinely worked up about winning. If Halle Berry were presenting they would definitely lip lock her.
Next it’s the nominees for Sound Mixing: ‘Bridge of Spies,’ ‘Mad Max,’ ‘The Martian,’ ‘The Revenant,’ ‘Star Wars.’ Need I say who I think will win? ‘Mad Max: Fury Road’ wins again! Crazy! The hits just keep on coming for MM.
Andy Serkis gets a bit of a salute for all his work as a ‘motion capture artist.’ First Trump reference of the evening—‘a megalomaniacal world-threatening monster!’ Applause. Visual Effects nominees: ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens,’ ‘Ex Machina,’ ‘The Revenant,’ ‘The Martian,’ ‘Mad Max: Thunder Road,’—‘Mad Max’ again? Time for a break from MM perhaps?—‘The Revenant’ maybe? ‘Ex Machina’ gets the Oscar—a nicely subtle film, and perhaps one in which the aforementioned mirkin might have played a part.
Olivia Munn and Jason Segel bring us back to the stage to discuss the previously held technical/scientific awards ceremony. Olivia informs us that at the scientific awards she found out the precise day that robots take over the Earth (August 27th). C3PO and R2D2 and the beach ball thingie from ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens’ come out to call out John Williams for his 50th Oscar nomination. The obligatory ‘Star Wars’ send up. That beach ball thingie really seems to work pretty well.
Chris Rock appears out in the audience to talk about how he’s missing helping out his daughters during Girl Scout cookie season—how come his daughters never sell the most cookies?? Chris Rock’s daughters (or proxies thereof?) come out to sell Girl Scout cookies to the audience—people are waving twenties and hundreds about. Chris calls out Lou Gossett, Jr.: ‘You can’t have any cookies! You’ve got diabetes!’
Minions appear to introduce the nominees for Animated Short—I have no idea what this whole Minions trip is about. It’s totally mysterious to me. A movie called ‘Bear Story’ wins—does anyone actually ever see these films? I mean, before the Oscars? According to the filmmakers of ‘Bear Story’ this is the first Oscar win for the country of Chile! Really? That’s pretty cool.
Buzz Lightyear and Woody to present for Best Animated Feature. I never saw ‘Toy Story’ either. Nominees are ‘Shaun the Sheep Movie,’ ‘Anomalisa,’ ‘Boy and the World,’ ‘When Marnie Was Here,’ ‘Inside Out,’ —I’m guessing ‘Inside Out.’ Just because I’ve heard of it. ‘Inside Out’ wins. A Pixar film, so go figure. One of the winners advises kids out there who are having a hard time to ‘make stuff!’ Good advice.
Kevin Hart is introduced by Chris Rock as ‘next year’s host.’ Hart does a shout out to all of his fellow film people of color to congratulate them for their good work, regardless of their lack of recognition in this year’s nominations. Positivity beats negativity, indeed. Kevin introduces the Man With the Missing Vowel, The Weeknd, to perform a song from another film I didn’t see, ‘Fifty Shades of Grey.’ Oh no—this is one of those production number songs with dancers and a writhing woman suspended from ropes above the stage. A lot of writhing in this number, dancers in black teddies and garters. Thankfully brief. The song, that is.
The Oscar for Best Supporting Actor is coming up, apparently. Sly Stallone is probably the sentimental favorite for this category. His movie also has a black star, so it’s sort of a win-by-proxy for a black actor. Kate Winslet and Reese Witherspoon are out—Reese, the Chin! Careful with that thing, Reese! They introduce ‘Bridge of Spies’ and ‘Spotlight’ as Best Picture nominees. Kate is secure enough to come out rocking some big black glasses. I’ve always thought she was pretty cool. Vanity is obviously not one of her failings.
Chris Rock wants to solve the diversity problem, so he went far, far away from Hollywood to a theater in Compton to interview folks on the street. Did the lack of black nominees in the Oscars this year make anyone mad? Like, ’Smack a White Man’ mad? ‘Hell, you can get three years for a hard look!’ Chris asks a lady if she considered rioting and looting. She says ‘We already did that and I didn’t get nothing.’ Anybody in Compton seen ‘Trumbo’? ‘The Big Short’? ‘Bridge of Spies’? Compton is incredulous. Chris has to assure some of his interview subjects that, Yes, those are in fact real movies. Anybody heard of Tom Hanks and Steve Spielberg? The names are somewhat familiar to folks in Compton. Now Chris wants to know if anyone saw ‘Straight Outta Compton’? ‘HELL yeah!’ Chris polls people for their favorite all-time movies—a nattily dressed gent names ‘Shaft.’ Can anyone name their favorite ‘White Movie’ of the year? One young lady mentions ‘By The Sea’ with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Now it’s Chris who is incredulous: ‘Not even THEY (Pitt and Jolie) would say that!’ Great segment.
Patricia Arquette, last year’s Best Actress, also rocking big glasses, comes out to name the nominees for Best Supporting Actor: Stallone, Christian Bale for ‘The Big Short,’ Tom Hardy for ‘Mad Max,’ (I’d love to see Hardy win—he’s amazing—but I think Stallone will take it), Ruffalo for ‘Spotlight,’ he’s always great, Mark Rylance for ‘Bridge of Spies,’ (loved him in ‘Wolf Hall’ on PBS). I’m still thinking Stallone. Okay, the Oscar goes to Mark Rylance! A surprise win! That’s kind of cool! The first nod to a Spielberg production tonight and the first Brit to win. Seems like a very nice guy—very well spoken.
Dave Grohl and Lady Gaga coming up? What is this, the Grammys, Part II? A recurring nightmare? PLEASE, in the name of all that is sacred, don’t let Gaga do another David Bowie tribute—I’ll go CrayCray.
Louis CK is up next to present for Best Documentary Short Film, which is a category he loves because it has the opportunity ‘to change a life.’ CK proclaims ‘You can’t make a DIME on this! These people will never make a dime as long as they live! This Oscar will be the nicest thing they ever own in their lives!’ Another slew of films that almost no one has seen. The Oscar goes to, no, not ‘Mad Max,’ it’s ‘A Girl in the River.’ Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy—an actual not-white woman—is the winner.
Dev Patel (‘Slumdog Millionaire’) and the very lovely indeed Daisy Ridley from ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens,’ present for Documentary Film. I’m thinking ‘Amy’ is a lock for this one, although ‘The Look of Silence’ and ‘What Happened Miss Simone’ (which I’ve actually seen) are certainly contenders. ‘Winter on Fire’—a documentary about the Ukraine? Never heard of that one. But I’m thinking ‘Amy’ and ‘Amy’ it is. I very much want to see this movie.
Chris Rock wheels out a prop tote board and touts $65,243 paid for Girl Scout cookies! Seriously? Special shout out to ‘Suge Knight’ for buying the most cookies! We see faux ‘Suge’ once again in the box seats, now out of his straight jacket and done up in a hot red tuxedo, surrounded by stacks of Girl Scout cookies and his two police guards.
Whoopi comes out to announce honorary Oscars: Debbie Reynolds, Gena Rowlands, and Spike Lee—conspicuously absent this evening—who notes in his clip from the previously held ceremony that it’s easier to be for a black man to be the President of the United States than it is to be the head of a studio. Cheryl Boone Isaacs, President of the Academy, who is an African American woman, comes out to address ‘the future.’ She addresses the diversity issue and steps being taken by the Academy so that the industry can ‘accurately reflect the world today.’
Lou Gossett, Jr., to introduce the ‘In Memoriam’ montage with a performance by Dave Grohl! This seems rather odd. Grohl is playing Paul McCartney’s ‘Blackbird.’ Is that part of the racial diversity subtext of the show? (I understand that Dave Grohl used to be in Nirvana! Seriously!) The montage includes Wes Craven, Stan Freberg, Saeed Jaffrey, Lizabeth Scott, Chantal Akerman, Christopher Lee, Jerry Weintraub, Ted Bikel, Robert Loggia, Maureen O’Hara, Omar Sharif, Dean Jones, Alan Rickman, Haskell Wexler, Richard Corliss, Alex Rocco, James Horner, Frank Gilroy, Holly Woodlawn, Roger L. Mayer, Albert Maysles, David Bowie, Vilmos Zsigmond, Leonard Nimoy. Thank GOD they didn’t overlook Bowie!
Young Abraham Attah (from ‘Beasts of No Nation’) and very young Jacob Tremblay (‘Room’), appear to present for best Live Action Short. Jacob steps all over Abraham’s lines. More films no one has seen, at least not yet. The Oscar goes to ‘Stutterer.’ I was hoping Idris Elba would be on the show. Oh well… The winner for ‘Stutterer’ proclaims that ‘Every day is a proud day to be Irish.’
Sophia Vergara, not dressed as a taxi cab this time I hope, and Byung-hun Lee are to present for Best Foreign Language Film, the only one of which that I’ve heard much about is ‘Son of Saul.’ I’m pretty sure that’s ‘Son of Saul is going to be a lock for this Oscar. And the Oscar goes to ‘Son of Saul.’ My roll continues!
Surprise surprise—Uncle Joe Biden comes out to present! How about that! Lou Gossett initiates a Standing O for the VPOTUS. Joe requests everyone to support a fight against sexual assault on college campuses. He introduces a song from ‘The Hunting Ground’ performed by (shudder) Lady Gaga. Joe says Gaga is courageous and a friend and he would know better than me. Gaga appears seated at a white Yamaha grand the size of a small ocean liner. Gaga is kind of jitterbugging, herky jerking around, waving her arms all around, and a crowd of sexual abuse survivors emerges from the stage behind her, with slogans like ‘Survivor’ and ‘It Happened to Me’ and “Unbreakable’ written in black marker on their arms. A tear jerker moment, and a standing O. Okay, Gaga, I guess I’ll forgive you for mangling David Bowie at the Grammys. Just don’t let it happen again.
Quincy Jones and Pharrell appear to present Best Original Score. Quincy refers to Pharrell as ‘Wardell.’ I’m thinking Carter Burwell is the clinch for ‘Carol.’ There seems to be buzz around him right now, although Ennio Morricone would be a sentimental favorite. John Williams—give me a break! He’s won a million times and ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens’ just sucked. I saw it in New York in 3D and that meant it sucked to the tune of $27.50! And the Oscar goes to… Ennio Morricone! Very cool! Hard to believe that this is his first Oscar! Ennio receives the standing O that he so richly deserves along with a big hug from Quincy. Longest standing O of the evening thus far. Ennio is ready and reads his prepared thank yous in Italian, translated by a translator. Burt Bacharach is in the audience! Ennio thanks Quentin Tarrantino (otherwise unseen and unmentioned this evening) and a special shout out to John Williams. Very nice indeed and a long time coming.
John Legend and Common, who is a big, broad shouldered good looking guy, come out to present for Best Original Song. Paolo Sorrentino’s ‘Youth’ looks like a great film—gotta see that. I’m guessing that the Lady Gaga tune that just got performed will win. The Oscar goes to ‘Writings On the Wall’ from ‘Spectre’—Sam Smith! Not a great film but Sam Smith says that ‘no openly gay man has never won an Oscar’ before. Really? Wow! Can that really be true?
Sacha Baron Cohen comes out as the hilariously clueless Ali G, invoking the un-nominated ‘Idris Elbow’ and ‘that black fella from Star Wars.’ Ali does a ’68 Olympics black glove salute, ala Tommie Smith and John Carlos, and, ohmygodohmygodohmygod, the devastatingly gorgeous Olivia Wilde—be still my heart!!—with the most impressive plunging neckline of the evening. ‘Brooklyn’ and ‘Room’ are introduced as Best Picture contenders.
J.J. Abrams is out to present for Best Director, ‘The Big Short,’ ‘Room,’ ‘Spotlight,’ ‘The Revenant,’ I’m thinking Alejandro is a lock for ‘The Revenant,’ ‘Mad Max: Fury Road’—George Miller’s posse has already won so much, I don’t think he’ll get this one. The Oscar goes to Alejandro G. Inarritu—two years in a row for this genius! Sean Penn isn’t present to question his Green Card status this time around. I think this win is a good indicator that ‘The Revenant’ is a lock for Best Picture. Alejandro shouts out to Tom Hardy, Leo and the Native cast of the film. They try to cut Alejandro off with the music cue but he doesn’t back down. Hell yeah—he just won Best Director! Alejandro makes a reference to a line from the film about liberating ourselves from prejudice and finally they back the music off so he can finish his statement. He says he looks forward to the day when skin color becomes as irrelevant as the length of one’s hair.
Chris Rock describes the hour as ‘Infomercial Late.’ Chris introduces the musical director of the show so that ‘he can get laid at the Governor’s Ball.’ Eddie Redmayne comes out to present for Leading Actress. I’m thinking it’s Cate or Saoirse, Brie Larson for ‘The Room’? Didn’t see this one, Jennifer Lawrence for ‘Joy’ but I don’t think this is her year… again. Too much, too soon—she might get a big head. Charlotte Rampling would probably be a sentimental favorite contender but she blew it with her unfortunate ‘racist against white people’ comment. Bravely, Charlotte is indeed present. Saoirse is solid, but I’m thinking Cate. She’s already won a lot though. The Oscar goes to Brie Larson— totally unknown commodity to me. She thanks the various film festivals that got the movie going, and Jacob Tremblay, the little scene stealer. She’s very composed indeed for a first time nominee/winner.
The lovely lovely Julianne Moore is here to present for Leading Actor: Leo in ‘The Revenant,’ Michael Fassbinder for ‘Steve Jobs,’ Eddie for ‘The Danish Girl’, Bryan Cranston for ‘Trumbo,’ Matt Damon for ‘The Martian.’ I’m thinking this is Leo’s year—he’s played things very nicely and he’s due—Michael Fassbinder, I love this guy but I don’t think it’s his year…yet. He’ll certainly get there. Caitlyn Jenner might have stolen Eddie Redmayne’s thunder for ‘The Danish Girl’ and Eddie won last year anyways. The Oscar goes to… Leo! I knew it! A standing O from the crowd. Like Ennio, I think a lot of people felt that, although Leo is still a young man, he was overdue. Tom Hardy has an impressive scar on the left side of his close-cropped head. Leo goes back to the beginning of his career to thank the folks that got him to this point. Leo makes a statement about climate change and relates how the shoot for ‘The Revenant’ had to go from Canada all the way to Tierra del Fuego to find snow. They don’t try to play him off this time. ‘Let’s not take this planet for granted! I do not take tonight for granted.’
Morgan Freeman, possessor of substantial gravitas, comes out to present for Best Picture. I’m pretty sure it’ll be ‘The Revenant.’ And the Oscar goes to—WOW!!—Shocker! ‘Spotlight’! I’m really surprised! It really did look like a sure thing for ‘The Revenant.’ I don’t think too many people saw this one coming. Rachel McAdams’ daringly backless green silk sheath dress is a knockout. Whatta doll!
Chris Rock hands out Girl Scout cookies as the show closes and gives a shout out to ‘Black Lives Matter!’ End of show.
Not bad at all, I’d say. Chris Rock retains his Very Cool rating in my book. More of Public Enemy’s ‘Fight the Power’ over the closing credits! PE probably hasn’t had this kind of exposure in quite a while—I love it! A VAST improvement over last year and the year before that too, actually. Neil Patrick Harris and Seth MacFarlane? Doubtlessly, two of the worst ever. Chris Rocks.
Oh, and playlists—right! You may notice another omission, Gentle Reader(s) as DJ Inky was down for the count with a cold on February 18. I’m back in the saddle again though and expect to be so for the month of March. Well, most of it anyway.
Grammar of Life – Charles Bukowski
First Wave Intact – Secret Machines
In This House That I Call Home – X
TVC 15 – David Bowie
T.V. Eye – the Stooges
May the Living Be Dead (In Our Wake) – Flogging Molly
NYC (No Need To Stop) – the Charlatans UK
The Sick Bed of Cuchulainn – the Pogues
Jupiter – Cave In
Barabajagal – Donovan w/ the Jeff Beck Group
New York City – Skin Disorder
Only Shallow – My Bloody Valentine
Everybody Needs Love – Drive-By Truckers
Automatic Lover – the Vibrators
Till The End of the Day – the Kinks
Don’t Want To Know If You’re Lonely – Hüsker Dü
You’re No Rock n’ Roll Fun – Sleater-Kinney
Stand By Your Man – Tammy Wynette
Hallo Spaceboy – David Bowie
Home – Public Image, Ltd.
Fairies Wear Boots – Black Sabbath
Sally Was A Legend – Robyn Hitchcock
I Lost It – Lucinda Williams
Big-Jesus-Trash-Can – the Birthday Party
Nobody Really Cares If You Don’t Go to the Party – Courtney Barnett
The Secret Life of Arabia – David Bowie
The Act We Act – Sugar
Overkill – Motörhead
It’s Martini Time – the Reverend Horton Heat
Anti-Pleasure Dissertation – Bikini Kill
Sound and Vision (David Richards remix) – David Bowie
Paranoid – Black Sabbath
Nowhere Again – Secret Machines
Dominos – the Big Pink
Pinball Wizard – the Who
The Day the World Turned Day-Glo – X-Ray Spex
Better Off Alone – the Black Angels
Rise Above – Black Flag
Baby, Tell Me What I’m On – the New York Dolls
52 Girls – the B-52’s
So You Want To Be A Rock n’ Roll Star – the Byrds
Love Song – the Damned
Where Have All the Good Times Gone – the Kinks
P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing) – Michael Jackson
Hypnotize – the White Stripes
Eagle Never Hunts the Fly – the Music Machine
Everybody Is A Star – Sly & the Family Stone
The Boy With The Thorn In His Side – the Smiths
Is Anybody Going to San Antone – Texas Tornados (para El Sicario)
Into My Arms – Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds
Honky Tonk Man – Dwight Yoakam
Disappointed – Public Image, Ltd.
Watch That Man – David Bowie
The Green Manalishi (With the Two-Pronged Crown) – Fleetwood Mac
Rich Girls – the Virgins
Dreams – the Kills
1970 – the Stooges
Are You Sure Hank Done It This Way – Waylon Jennings
Mosquito – Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Blood on the Bluegrass – the Legendary Shack Shakers
Scary Monsters (And Super Creeps) – David Bowie
All You Ever Do Is Bring Me Down – the Mavericks & Flaco Jimenez
Marquee Moon – Television
The Punk and the Godfather – the Who
Cissy Strut – the Meters
The Man Who Sold the World – Nirvana
Listen to My Heart – the Ramones
Man-Size – PJ Harvey
Jump They Say – David Bowie
Tell Her No – the Zombies
Look At You – Screaming Trees
Lazarus – David Bowie
World Without Tears – Lucinda Williams
Buona Sera – Louis Prima
Happy Trails – Roy Rogers & Dale Evans (featuring the Trigger String Ensemble conducted by Robert Baustian – R.I.P.)
Taxi – Bryan Ferry
