I’m putting it right out there, Gentle Reader(s)—right at the git go: I have NO idea what I’m talking about. Certainly when it comes to futbol—and yes, I’m going to call it futbol, just to be clear that I’m talking about The Beautiful Game and not the gladiatorial concussion-fest that us colonials are traditionally frothing over. I’ve been a fan for several years now, and what little I know about futbol is what I have gradually gleaned through the process of acquainting myself with the Premier League via the good graces of over-the-air NBC broadcasts (one, perhaps two, matches on Saturday or Sunday mornings), Telemundo (also Saturday and/or Sunday morning fixtures, en Español), and, for the last couple of years, the Peacock streaming channel. The 2022 World Cup and its seemingly endless rounds of buildup matches further served to expose me to the substantially more boggling realm of international futbol competition. I trust Harry Kane is feeling somewhat better by now.